Few Thoughts..

Two years has just flew without a clue!! I have been inactive for last two years but I am glad that I am back on the blog world again. Well, what did I do during these two years is a big question. On paper, I attended my second masters in the great university like Columbia University. But, after the first semester, I had lost the heart. Since I came late for three weeks in second semester, I never recovered from that shock. I am still suffering from those mistakes. What was supposed to be the biggest achievement of my academic and probably many years to come- to be at the great university like this and to have a great platform like this- I think I have totally wasted. I feel I had wasted these two years, the money, the opportunity, to make great friends, to build a great career.

I might do great in career but I will always regret for the things I didn’t do during this time. Time and tide waits for nobody. For me, once I will be back to India, the prospects look bleak. As of now, I don’t have much to say. Honestly, I am used to give up everything- the career, the academics, the girls I liked. I don’t react to anything as if no feeling has left in me. Although it is the crisis situation, I am not feeling the heat. I just go along. No passion, nothing. I don’t know for how long I could continue to do so. Everything said and done, I have not done enough- infact nothing at all!! So, I should stop whining and start getting my act together. It is too late for that too!! The most frustrating part is that, I cannot even say or share these things with other people. They can’t help me in this matter. Only, they could say is it is me who is responsible for this mess. So, I know that, say me something new. You are not helping me. In fact, by saying so, they will start judging me. God save me from this situation!!

Soon, I will have to leave the USA and have to be back to India. Soon, my destiny will be determined by others. They will start making the key decisions for me. I hate this situation. In any case, I will not let this happen. I will not let them dictate anything. I don’t want to put my life depending on the whims of those people. WHO ARE THEY? Barring the blood relations, they don’t deserve to call the short.

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